so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
