Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
