First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
