Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
