i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There r osticjed everywhere
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
