You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
