Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
