break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it's like iHOP with fire
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
