I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
