You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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