Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
