PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
