yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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