The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
