If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
