your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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