If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize