Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
