its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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