my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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