Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
