Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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