how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
