Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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