she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize