I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Are we still banned from the library?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
