i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
