I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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