shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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