I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
