I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
