They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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