I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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