Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
