it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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