is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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