R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
