Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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