It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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