like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
