Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
