The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
