let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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