So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
