I think I died a long time ago.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
