belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
