lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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