At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
