OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
