Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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