I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
