I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want nice things and good sex
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
