Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
