He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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