Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
