so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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