She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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