Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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