i need an iv and a liver transplant
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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