No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
