WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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