I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
