I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
