ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
