when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
