I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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