Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
