I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you had me at cake vodka
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
